Dear Retail Clothing Manufacturers:

There is no perfect size 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28 or 30.

We, as women, do the best we can to make your clothing look nice on our bodies, and we cling to the fallible concept that if we lose 5 pounds, we'll fit better into your sizes.

Wait, on top of this, you separate SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE, XL and others by these arbitrary numbers.

What the f*ck size do I purchase if I'm between your listings??? A small doesn't fit my mom's thighs (thanks, mom), and a medium doesn't fit the rest of me.

You have ruined any chance of me buying clothing on ebay, you bastards.

Thanks for nothing,
J.Lo.

Hey babe, I keep missing your calls, as I'm on the way to work all the time. Grrr. I'm sorry, sunshine. When's a good time to call you back???

Miss you.

It's been a million years since my last confession.

I have eaten cookie dough for breakfast this week.
I drank 2 Dr. Peppers yesterday.
I ate a swiss grilled cheese and fries.
I have a renewed addiction to Ebay, when we really should be spending money on our bills.
I have turned on a cartoon this morning to keep the baby busy so that I could check my Ebay....and my email....and my LJ.
I have not studied for my national exam like I should have.
I did not return an email to a friend who wanted to get together today.....I sent her an email last night after midnight asking when she wanted to get together.
I put the baby in his swing for the past hour, while sitting on the couch next to him & doing computer stuff.
I haven't called a regular massage client in 5 months to put together a new rehab schedule.
I haven't called Martin's cousin who wants to bring her baby over.
I haven't done thank you notes for my great aunt, Martin's neighbors, and my grandmother (even though I already told her thank you a million times, I want to send her one.)
I haven't read a book in 3 months.
I haven't made the cookies I've promised.
I haven't finished Mandy's letter.....so it's holding up her *goodie box* for the twins.

The worst part is that I don't think anything productive is going to get done today. I think I've worn myself out.

Tonight's news on Channel 2 (CBS):

There is a SNOW ADVISORY for the NYC metro area.

Expected accumulation: 1-2" in the city, 2-3" in Jersey.

Wha-what?????

Yes, the weather anchor is advising that people leave extra time to get to work tomorrow and bundle all children.

They honestly went to a shot of one of the highways into the city, with snow flurries----flurries----coming down in front of the camera. The weather anchor's voice was over the picture, saying: "Is it accumulating? We don't know." On the screen was the current temperature: 39 degrees.

I took high school science, so I'm pretty sure that snow can't accumulate at 39 degrees.

I just went on a quick run to the local grocery store, and the roads are empty. It's not even snowing.

**shakes head**

What did we learn from this? Well, apparently, I can be a weathergirl and more accurately discuss current weather patterns than the chick on CBS NY. We also learned that the words SNOW ADVISORY need to be redefined so that everyone doesn't freak out. Additionally, we learned that, yet again, the lemmings will still run off the cliffs of insanity without using common sense first.

City people.

Call Graco about your highchair.

There's some sort of recall kit that they need to send people who own the Contempo model. Apparently, some people weren't extending the legs until they clicked, and their children were tumbling when they tried to drop them into the seats.

The kit got here in a couple days, and it's just a piece of fabric that you need to click/snap onto the bottom legs. I'm not entirely sure what this piece of fabric does to make the legs pop out completely....but you need it.

PS.....Graco told me that WD-40 is a-ok to fix the squeeky stroller. All done, and it's perfect.

Done:

--Christmas box in basement
--Email to mother done
--Kitchen mucho cleano
--Catbox done
--Laundry done
--Got thank you notes
--Aunt's b-day gift out
--Trash together
--Cleaned out car
--Returned all Christmas yuckies/no-fitties

To Do:

--Change bed
--Vaccuum
--Scrub the tub
--Make cookies
--Finish blankie, dammit
--Study. National boards 8 days away

Hey!

I lit a candle for you, and a candle for the fella.

The two candles melted into each other. Very cool.

I did light your candle a second time, and both times, I burned my thumb.

I've also never had any of this happen before with any of my candles.

Anything you want to tell me, or should I just listen to my gut on this ?

:)

At your leisure, check out these short videos of the baby.

Click on the link:

http://babytre.20m.com

Click on any of the titles, and a new window will open. Click the *play* button to watch :)

One is of the baby eating cereal for the second time, one is the baby jumping in his jumpythingie, one is the baby in his diaper & holding his toes, and two are of him rolling around on the floor (one is a little better than the other). Each are just a little over a minute in length.

Enjoy :)

Okay, I've had this problem for MONTHS now, and it's still not solved.

How do you link your PayPal and Ebay accounts??? I can make payments using my PayPal account, but I can't RECEIVE payments. I ate $19 from a good buyer when I mailed an item early. She attempted to pay me three times, but my PayPal wouldn't accept the payment. The payment went into limbo, with PayPal saying that I'd have to sign up for an account to claim it. Mind you, I've HAD an account with them for a year.

I've tried Ebay customer service. I've tried PayPal customer service.

Somebody tell me how to do this. Please. I have mucho junk to sell.

Just when you thought I was done filling your friends page....

( the accomplishments )

Onward & upward!

I'm feeling super-motivated today, so I'm going to get moving.

I'm running to Target to make X-mas returns, pick up a vaporizer & (hopefully) a mesh crib bumper. Nobody tells you that once the baby can roll over, he pulls at the crib bumper, sticks his arm through the crib slats & gives you a heart attack every morning.

I'm seriously trying to save money, but I found a couple enjoyable sales on ebay that are right up my alley. I know I don't need any more blankies for the baby. It's just that I found the one that matches his set....that I've wanted forever....for $5. I can't beat that. I may have to hide my purchases from Martin for a while....but I think they'll be worth it. I've got four items I'm watching over the next 3 days. Wish me luck. One is a bigger purchase, but it's worth it. I think I'm definitely going to have to tell him about that before I spend $70.

The laundry is all upstairs; it just needs to be folded and put away. The dishwasher is running as we speak. The bed is made. The fridge is clean, and Martin took the garbage with him on his way to work. He wants to make it home by 6 for the big games today, and then I'm going grocery shopping by myself.

The baby is asleep for a hot minute, so I'm going to get dressed & pack a diaper bag to run out the door. I think I'm on-task today.

It feels good to attempt to be busy!

Thought I'd pass this one along. Martin found this quote on a refrigerator magnet & gave it to me a while ago. Sometimes it just puts life into perspective.

"For a long time, it seemed to me that life was about to begin---
real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way,
something to be gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid.
At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way.
So treasure every moment you have and remember
that time waits for no one.

Happiness is a journey,
not a destination."

~~~Souza

To Do:

-vaccuum....again
-get the Christmas stuff in the basement if it kills me
-thank you's to aunt dorothy, grandma burke
-return email to my mother
-call Graco about the squeeky stroller
-finish letter to Mandy to tuck in her care package
-actually make the cookies I promised to KDogg six weeks ago
-grocery shopping
-clean bathroom....again
-finish at least one project this week
-study shiatsu, blood/cells, muscle insertions, cranial nerves this week
-get new bottle of water from basement for the cooler
-clean up bedroom (namely put my project stuffies away and get the bills & notes off the nightstand)
-pay college loans (if i can remember my password)
-open 529 for baby

*sigh*
I'm sure there are 1,000 more things I missed. I'll clear off the list as I can.

The day is nearly done. I feel like it had such potential, and yet I fell short.

Done:
--made soup for dinner. I should refrain from attempting new recipes when I'm starving & can't get to the store. I made cream of cauliflower soup, which was very unfulfilling. It would be a nice compliment to a sandwich or something, but on its own, very bland.
--got three loads of laundry done. Only one of those is folded, and the last one is still in the dryer. The baby hasn't given me a break (ie. a nap) to go down to get it.
--pulled the garbage and brought in the trash from the bedroom and bathroom. The bag is still on the kitchen floor, tied shut. Again, due to lack of nap, I was unable to take it out.
--half-watched four movies today: Dodgeball, South Park, Ocean's Eleven, and Men In Black. Excellent.
--baby had peaches again. I think I've discovered the worst smell in the universe. It's warm, half-digested peaches and formula, as deposited on my shirt. Yummy.
--as part of the pantry/freezer liquidation sale, i ate the remaining pierogies for lunch. i also found a breakfast hot pocket, which i scarfed down. granted, neither of these products had an expiration date visible, and the hot pocket wasn't even in its original box. that could be the explanation for the strange nausea I'm feeling.
--the living room looks like a bomb went off. Granted, it's all stuff that can be cleaned up in 5 minutes, total, but I haven't done it.

I'm not sure why I'm severely pooped, as I just spent the day with the baby. He was a handfull. I'm waiting for reinforcements....I've been waiting for 4 hours. One of Martin's guys called out, so he pulled another 11-hour day to pick up the slack. He's on his way home now.

I've got to get my booty in gear tomorrow. I'm thinking I may run to Target to make a couple leftover Christmas returns. I have little stuff that needs to go back to there, Kohl's and Macy's.....and they're not even remotely close in proximity to each other. They're three different days worth of trips if it's just me, but we may be able to conquer them all if I have Martin take the baby (or at least come with us). I may start the excursions tomorrow. Jersey's shops are closed up here due to blue laws, but NY has a super Target.

Keep me in your thoughts, kids. I never ask for that, but I'm asking now. I can't disclose anything now, but keep me in your thoughts. More later.

Happy Weekend!

Ah, the insane ramblings of the JLK.

Paging Dr. Freud on this one.

Work tonight was...interesting. I was in room service. (The moral of this story is in the end, not the details, so skip them if you want.) ( details )

Martin asked me if I always have to be the best. This is the point of my ramblings.

Yes, I do. It's more than a random desire to be good at what I do----I am focused on not just being in the mix of society, but the best. I don't know if it's a need to be noticed, the strange constant desire to gain approval, or what. I just constantly have to be the best at work. It's an all-or-nothing feeling. I don't know why I have this nutty feeling, but I always have. I can't just be. I have to be a supervisor, then I have to be a manager. I have to be the top seller. I have to be the head bartender. I thought it would be easier when I got married & had a *life* outside my work, but apparently, I'm doing it again.

Is it natural? Is it good not to *settle*, or am I insane???

*sigh*

I think it's just because I'm not doing what I really want to do with my life. Because I'm *unfulfilled*, I'm trying to fill the void.

Okay, so I've found solace on this baby website. I'm continuing to make my own baby food, which is an adventure. I am conquering new foods every day, and my freezer is filling with piles of ice cubes in ziplock bags marked *sweet potatoes* and *applesauce*. It's kinda funny when you see it. I'm sure Martin never thought his kitchen would be a factory. I feel like I'm in some '80s movie about space when I pop out two cubes of food and smack them into the microwave.

My grandmother used to can everything and pickle everything else. I always thought her cabinets were amazing, as they were full of Bell jars of everything. I'm thinking of picking up the family tradition. Maybe I'd start off with easy stuff (like the aforementioned applesauce and tomatoes/spaghetti sauce), but I think I'd like to try. Winter is probably not the best time to start this stuff, though.

Why am I posting about this??? I think I've lost my mind.

*Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light*

Okay, since I don't get to watch TV too much (unless it's some sci fi rerun at the wee hours of the morning), I went through the Golden Globe photos from the red carpet. Granted, nobody asked for my opinions, but I'll share them anyway:

--John Stamos: you're still a hottie...but you're washed up. Please chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself. Uncle Jessie doesn't belong on ER.
--Angelina Jolie: I believe the gossip sheets. You look pregnant again. Oh, and when you're not busy trick-or-treating for Unicef, have some work done to remove those nasty tattoos.
--Renee Zellweger: Please. Put a bag over your head. For the good of the world, baby.
--Gillian Andersen: Wha-what? Is she pregnant??? I haven't seen her in years, but she's either packed on some serious weight or I've missed the gossip about her pregnancy. The photo I saw really couldn't tell you either way....and the waist on her dress didn't really help. Is Agent Scully giving birth to another alien??? Somebody fill me in.
--Alec Baldwin: how are you still on TV, let alone winning anything?
--Beyoncee: Okay, we get it. You have boobs. Now put them away.
--Hilary Swank: thank you for being classy. And for being a great actress. And for getting your start on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It shows how much you've grown as a person.
--Ellen Pompeo: You're normally beautiful. Why did you decide to borrow from Bjork's closet for the Globes??? Dry clean her dress and return it promptly. I'm sure she looks better in it.
--The Arquette Sisters: Leave the acting and red carpet walking to your brother. Oh, and Rosanna: stool softners may be able to help you. You look like you're hurting in places you don't like to talk about.
--Cheryl Crow: kudos. You're looking great. Hang in there.

**This message brought to you by the girl wearing her husband's t-shirt and yoga pants with a haphazard ponytail**

FYI....some of you in tonight's audience will appreciate this.

I've been TiVo-ing the original Star Trek series lately. I've gotten the *Mirror, Mirror* episode (the one that's parodied in the South Park episode *Spooky Fish*), and I've finally gotten *Amok Time*.

Amok Time is the episode in which Mr. Spock has to return to Vulcan to mate before his sense of logic goes bananas. When he returns to his home planet, his betrothed chooses Spock to fight a challenge to the death....against Kirk (which is parodied in *The Cable Guy* when Carey & Broderick are at the renaissance dinner).

This is the perfect show to watch at 4am.